Coming and going…

Last night was the first Ian Minnick Memorial Scholarship Art and Talent Showcase. Ian passed away last March at the age of 22. His mom and I used to coordinate the Riverside Community Talent Shows 5 years ago. So, we upclassed it a little, including professional acts mixed in with kids, bands, dancers, and brought it back. We also included an art raffle, with 40 pieces made by or donated by community members. Some of us felt like Ian was there, and I think he would have approved. It went swimmingly well, and it kicked my butt.

Age creeps up on you. Five years ago i could bounce around the stage, totally on top of things, moving the piano, handling the acts and was with it every step of the way. Last night I realized that there’s a reason older people aren’t as prevalent in theater. My biggest issue was with my feet hurting. But my biggest worry is my brain. I made some errors that there was no reason for, and I shouldn’t have made. I didn’t know i was making them. I don’t know why I made them. I have found that I don’t remember things like I used to, and while this is fairly normal, I don’t trust myself any more. I need a system to follow and people to rely on. Luckily I had both last night. I tell myself I am fearless but I have to confess to being scared of this. I had a MRI recently, so it’s nothing cancerous or visible, all looked fine. My plan is to keep record of these lapses, and see if there is a pattern. Maybe it was just overload but I’m going to try to figure it out.

Meanwhile, I’m going to Arnstein, Ontario next weekend. My little brother wanted to go, and since he was a kid, nobody could say no to Andy. His wife and my husband, of sound mind and body, decided they weren’t really interested in going to Canada in January. So we are going, along with my sister and a few other brave souls. Why? I don’t know. But when something overwhelms me, or I am afraid, all it takes is a minute at Clear Lake, frozen or not, to bolster me. I just want to put my hands on the birch trees and feel my roots. I will take three days to breathe the air, build a snowman, kneel on the frozen lake. When I come back I will be focused and fearless again.

I didn’t walk Chester today. That usually helps clear my mind. But like I said, my feet hurt! So…I am working on step one of pet integration: cat to cat. We are all sitting in the same room, two cats and me. Only one hiss so far. They are staring at each other, but not particularly on guard. Just staring. As long as neither one moves, we’re all happy.

Have a spectacular week! Tell someone you love them. You might be the person someone else needs to hold on to. Wish us luck that the ice holds. And that I remember my passport. Not kidding. Do me a favor and comment about Wednesday to remember my passport ok? Hey, we all need someone to rely on!

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A classic overthinker trying to age gracefully while living with a big, too smart for his own good shelter pup who must have his daily walk.

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