Like many others I have been working from home. I’m lucky that my job is largely computer, so I can still work. Monday and Tuesday I resisted and went into the office anyway. We were allowed to if we needed to, and on Mondays I am usually too busy to work with one computer screen. Wednesday slowed down, as usual, and I moved into my home office.
I am beginning to notice some little changes in my routine–things that are sobering in a way. For example, I put my travel mug up in the cabinet, not knowing when I’ll need it next. Our cupboard is full of Tupperware because I haven’t been taking my lunch. I gathered some must haves to keep handy; Burt’s Bees Hemp lip balm, a nail file, my little container of “dream cream” hand lotion. With each one moving to my desk I had the heavy feeling that I’m not going back and even if I do go back, it won’t be the same. Things have weirdly changed.
After ballet, while at college, I took a phys ed credit of modern dance. I tried, but to think that I could do modern dance with a background in ballet is like saying I could play the trumpet with a background in cello. They are both types of dance, but I didn’t realize how different they were, and I couldn’t see or feel modern dance AT ALL. I kept trying to squeeze some ballet moves in and react to the music. Those modern dancers don’t even care about the music! After I had the “final exam” which was to perform a dance I created, the teacher asked me what changed during the dance. I said nothing. She said that the expression of something changes it. Whether for good or bad, once you recognize something, it is changed. At the time I thought she was just being a snooty dance teacher. Maybe she was snooty but she may have had a point.
I acknowledged the virus’ power 1) by working from home and 2) by making it a functional office. I guess I’m past denial now. I don’t know what the virus will do and I’m a little overwhelmed. I’m also angry. I generally refuse to get sick. I believe in the power of the mind. I am not sick now, but if the odds are not in my favor, and they don’t seem to be, I probably will be at some point and so will you. I am strong but by acknowledging that I can’t go about my routines, I don’t feel so strong. I guess in this case, with my simple expression of working from home, what changed is me.
Today was better. My husband and I are falling into a new routine. I am learning to live with one tiny computer screen instead of two extra large ones. I still don’t like it, but I am past feeling sad and am moving on. I am renewing my pet integration project by bringing the two cats together. They hissed a couple times today but that was it. We’re making progress! I can do that because I’m working from home. I can sleep in a half hour longer. I go down and make a cup of tea or coffee in the afternoon and to be honest have a girl scout cookie with it. I play music without headphones. All in all it’s OK. I’m OK.
Now, on to Chester and the muzzle war. I told you that the first try resulted in Chester running in with it hanging from his neck. I tightened it a little and tried again. The next morning, he was running around the yard but when he came in….no muzzle at all! I had to go out and find it. Muzzle-0, Chester-2. The third time I tried again, tightening it even a little more. Don’t worry, he can still breathe, he’s fine. He came in…and voila! The muzzle was still on! So he may be getting used to it😊 No more dead bunnies. Speaking of bunnies though, we went for a walk this morning and Chester stopped suddenly, staring straight ahead in his “I see a rabbit” pose. Then he backed up a little like he was scared. Below is a picture of what he saw. Oh Chester…