Our neighborhood suffers from an identity crisis. I thought it was bad when the godawful election signs were up like pimples on a smooth cheek, upping each other in numbers and finally adding flags to the mix. Yes, some of our otherwise reasonable neighbors had flags supporting their candidate. They won the flag war, what else can I say?
And now we have the weekend before Thanksgiving, a time that is usually 25 degrees and sleeting. Not this weekend however, we are at about …excuse me for a minute, Milo the cat just snozzed on my finger. I have to go wash my hands.
As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted by flying Milo snot, it’s a beautiful fall day here in Cleveland. It’s cool, maybe jacket weather, and by cool I mean about 45. If it was 50 or more it would be t-shirts, and 60 or more we break out the flip flops. This weather abnormality causes our neighbors to go into house-panic mode. Some are busy bagging leaves—I have not heard so many leaf blower motors at one time ever. I couldn’t even hear my husband when he said we needed to put all the patio stuff in the shed. Huh, what was that? I can’t hear you over the leaf blowers.. It didn’t work, we actually accomplished that, at least most of it. I threw a couple ears of corn in our yard for the squirrels hoping that they would take them next door at some point. At least before we have to mow again next year.
But back to the neighbors…they don’t know what to do with this weather. They are confused. Is it Thanksgiving or Christmas? We all can be forgiven for losing track of days and this doesn’t help. Some are blowing leaves with their pumpkins still out and others are blowing leaves and putting up the Christmas decorations. We have one house in its Thanksgiving happiness…and right next door, I swear you not is a house ready for St. Nick…
Then there are those who transition gradually or can’t make up their minds…
I can relate to all of them.
We are still in Thanksgiving mode at our house but it’s a pretty sad Thanksgiving. I’m actually very down about this. Thanksgiving is my jam. Everyone comes to our house and as much as I love the meal, I love the company more. We have Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, vegetable (like green bean only mixed veggies and cheddar cheese) casserole, sweet potato casserole with butter and marshmallows melted on top, pumpkin pie, apple pie brought by the kids, kielbasa made by my brother in law, wine brought by the alternate grandparent universe, and cranberry sauce two ways. One is what my brother brings that falls out of a can and shows the indentation of the can and jiggles and has absolutely no relationship to real cranberries. I’m sorry but real cranberries do not, and I repeat do NOT make that plop sound as they suction themselves out of the can and land on the plate like The Blob. There is also the right kind (I’m a cranberry snob) with orange zest, sugar and fresh, real cranberries that burst when you boil them. I notice that frequently the jiggly stuff disappears and my fresh cranberries are left. Some of my family has no taste. Oh, and don’t forget the rolls. One year, I burned the rolls. I got so much grief for it that I didn’t make them the next year so my son did. Of course they were perfect. So now the question every Thanksgiving is, “did Jeff make the rolls?”
This year we aren’t having our Thanksgiving, at least not now. Nobody is comfortable when we are in the “purple zone” here, and other states don’t want us around them. I plan to send an invite for a date in June for Thanksgiving. We are going to make a meal, and will talk to everyone, but it’s not the same. And it makes me really sad.
However, that is no excuse to jump into Christmas. I keep telling myself that as the presents pile up. I find a certain solace in purchasing gifts. Shoot, I like buying stuff. It helps ease the Thanksgiving blues. But it’s just not time yet for Christmas lights. Are we giving up EVERY tradition we have? Putting up lights without frostbitten fingers is just unamerican. Or at least not worthy of any true Clevelander!
Don’t feel like I’m criticizing you if you aren’t a true Clevelander. It’s OK, really. Actually if I had to put up the lights by myself I might be doing it now also. But we (I am certainly speaking for my husband) have to draw the line somewhere.
Anyway, taking Chester for a walk today we observed the different decorations in the neighborhood. At one point he would not continue. He was afraid of the birds. By birds, I mean two giant inflatable turkeys on either side of the street. Here is a picture of one of them; they were too big to get them both.
I dragged him past them and they didn’t attack us but it was like walking a gauntlet. I pictured Tippi Hedren in The Birds, running with little Veronica Cartwright (later of Alien fame) while the birds pecked their hair. My hair looks so frizzy during the pandemic I can totally understand. But just imagine these two turkeys (the inflatables not Tippi and Veronica) coming at me and Chester. Scary stuff.
We used to buy tanks and chicken fireworks that you would light and put on the ground and have wars with. Whichever one caught on fire was the loser. It was great fun if you didn’t stand too close. These turkeys looked like they were going to start spitting sparks out of their beaks at each other. We walked a little quicker but we did make it through unscathed.
When Chester doesn’t want to walk somewhere, he just stops. He is over 70 pounds and gives me a look that says “go ahead and try but I’m not moving.” And he doesn’t. We go where he wants to go. Below is a picture of that look. My husband lets him go wherever he wants to go. He figures the walk is for Chester, so he should have some choice. I do not. Phooey on choice. Chester and I go the same way almost every time. I am boring. This time though, he was not having it and no matter how much I tried to drag him, I couldn’t do it. I appreciated his spirit. Only a doting dog owner would take a picture of their doggie engaged in civil disobedience and think it’s cute. But it is! We stood there awhile and then went where he wanted to go.
I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. I plan to get my Christmas letter and cards out. If you would like one, email me and let me know (for those that don’t already get one) otherwise you will be spared. Enjoy your feasts or traditions and do whatever makes you happy. Touch base with someone you love. And let’s be thankful to be alive and well. Take care!