Chester’s wild and crazy night

While Chester does love snow, he’s not so fond of the cold. My husband and I are perfectly happy to sit in front of the fireplace and binge “Law and Order” but I think Chester is a little bored. His day consists of lying on the couch and watching for squirrels. Lately even the squirrels have been binging “Law and Order” in their nests (they have a mini tv and peanuts), so Chester has been relegated to watching birds. Here is his usual routine, and keep in mind it takes him about 5 minutes to do the whole thing.

First, he notices the bird. It takes some time to decide whether to do anything about it: get up vs go back to sleep. Get up vs sleep. Up vs sleep…About half the time he decides to get up.

Second step is to start to lift that overweight body up. I know the feeling, Chester. He could still turn back. Turn back, Chester!

His third step is the point of no return. He stands with his front half off and his back half on the couch for seriously 2-3 minutes. He stretches his front half then very slowly lowers his back half to the floor, one foot at a time.

He then stands at the door and stares at the bird. Does he go out? Nah. He lies down on the floor in front of the door. The bird flies away and he feels he has done his duty, so he gets back up on the couch and falls asleep again.

Now this is mellow fellow is why we adopted a “senior” dog; he was five years old when we got him. But this is not the energetic pup that the kennel said “never stops moving” and his laziness probably contributes to his weight gain. It’s too cold for long walks although we do make the effort. He walks a little, poops, then turns around and pulls us toward home. Then gets a biscuit and falls asleep.

Yesterday I had to go to the pet store for cat food, drop off stuff at Goodwill, and get an iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts. I took Chester with me. He was a good boy at the pet store (meaning he didn’t pee on the merchandise) until we reached the cash register. Just like the candy at the grocery stores right at kid level, there are bones and rawhides at dog snoot level. He grabbed a rawhide for the road. I didn’t realize it until the cashier said, “Can he have that?” He carried it out to the car. He then got a donut hole at the Dunkin Donuts drive through. “Can your puppy have a treat?” I gave an extra dollar to the tip jar. While this is a nice diversion for Chester, the real treat was yet to come.

My husband had ordered a Bark Box for Chester for Christmas. It contained the infamous Bumble toy I admired in a previous post. What he didn’t realize is that it is one of those monthly subscriptions that you have to cancel. I hate those. He went to war with Bark Box but alas (or yippee, depending who you ask) the box was already en route. It arrived last night.

Chester was happily and peacefully gnawing on his large bone when John opened the box. He pulled out a fuzzy purple thing and squeaked it.  Instantly Chester jumped up and stood laser focused. He pawed at John and sat, gave paw, and lay down (the extent of his tricks) in about 3 seconds. John gave him the fuzzy purple thing (a slipper we figured out) and the Chester party began. He chewed and ran around with it, squeaking it constantly for the next hour. We couldn’t hear “Law and Order” because this thing was so loud. I do mean loud, and if you’ve ever heard a loud squeaky toy nonstop for literally an hour, you understand. He took a break for a few minutes halfway through to get one or two of the treats they sent then bounced back and forth inside and outside a few times. If you can picture someone who is “the life of the party” with a party hat, arms in the air, blowing one of those noise blower things and screaming “Woo hoo”, you can picture Chester.

Don’t even think about taking this bunny!

After a couple hours the purple fuzzy slipper was demolished. He had torn it to bits and found the plastic squeaker. He ran around squeaking the squeaker, then chewed it and spit the remnants on the floor. I love finding pieces of it when I walk barefoot to get coffee…Since the fuzzy slipper was now retired to the pile of has-been bunnies, he turned his attention to destroying the box itself.

The bumble still reigns. He is eating the new bunny.
We are leaving this for further shredding later tonight. He can do better.

Chester didn’t calm down for a good while. My husband commented that the fuzzy slipper was like catnip for cats, and he was probably high. Finally he crashed in the middle of his mess. When he went to bed he left the clean up for me.

The aftermath of hurricane Chester

This morning Chester was back to his place on the couch watching birds. I think despite the party hangover it did him good. He seems more energetic. It’s not so cold today and most of the snow melted. He has been outside chasing squirrels and staring at the trees desperately praying that a squirrel will fall out and land at his feet.

Oh please please please…

We do have one more toy that I hid next to the refrigerator. In Cleveland we’re guaranteed to have another cold spell. For now though it’s good to have him back to his ornery self!

Have a good week!

NY resolutions and a Dodgem

Happy New Year! I watched some of the NY eve tv specials but missed both Miley’s wardrobe malfunction and Andy’s rant. I did not however, miss the earthquake that occurred in Lake Erie. I was in the basement and heard a thump noise, kind of like a truck dropping its load. I thought Chester knocked something over but when I checked nothing was amiss and he was just hanging out.

Chester is quite concerned about the earthquake.

Not a huge earthquake, and we do have them periodically. I have felt two that were bigger and actually made things move. Once I was on the fourth floor of an office building. That was a little scary. But you don’t even realize what it was until it’s over.

I have the after Christmas blahs. I have a stack of gifts for the NY kids and some of them include candy. I am considering opening and eating them. To circumvent my tendencies I wrapped the candy and put the wrapping under the bed.  You see, once again I have made New Year resolutions, and once again one of them is diet.

Since I am a believer of sharing misery, Chester is going on a diet too.

looking a little chunky there Chester…

We have begun breaking the large Milk Bones in half for his nightly ritual. He goes outside, stands on the deck for a minute or two, then comes in and herds my husband to the kitchen for a biscuit. He does this about three or four times then curls up on the couch to watch tv. He then falls asleep until I say “bed” when he goes upstairs. So now he gets half biscuits. We would try to break the habit but he’s so darn cute when he herds my husband. That is my personal entertainment for the night.

If only losing weight was easy for me! About three years ago, my grandson gave me this little figure called a Daruma Doll. He painted it and painted one for himself too. He said that you make a goal and then paint the other eye when you achieve the goal. His goal was to learn to read. He did that within 6 months and painted the eye. Mine was to lose 10 pounds. Here is mine today three years later…

The grandson thinks it’s funny that I still haven’t painted mine. He doesn’t understand how I can be my own worst enemy. People try to tell me what to do to lose weight. I know what to do, I just don’t do it. If someone could tell me how to stop sabotaging myself it might help. This year is the year though! That little accuser staring at me with one eye will get his comeuppance. And I will be vindicated!

On facebook marketplace there is a Dodgem car for sale! It’s relatively inexpensive, and in Ohio!

My husband was not opposed exactly, since I have wanted one since the great Hershey Swap Meet. I messaged the seller for the measurements. Unfortunately, it is 40” wide and 5’6” long. It is also “extremely heavy.” We would have to rent a truck to move it (no problem) and get some strong guys to help (that’s what the Fantasy Football league is for) but the real obstacle is that it would not fit through the basement door. Although we toyed with the idea of the Dodgem in the living room or family room, we ultimately decided that it was not feasible. My husband suggested the deck, but we aren’t sure the squirrels would approve. Disappointing. Some day…

The deck supervisor

Anyway, this is going to be an interesting year. Think of all the possibilities ahead! I plan to win the Powerball tonight. Anything could happen! It’s kind of fun to think of good things that may happen in the future. I do believe that positive thoughts and vibes translate into reality sometimes. So why not? I may have a dodgem AND a carousel tiger in the basement!

Finally, here’s a pic of my little tiger Milo. Doesn’t he look ferocious? He’s really yawning.

Milo the tiger

Sorry for the boring post…when a yawning cat gets a picture it’s pretty bad. When I win the powerball things will pick up! Have a good week!