A Halloween walk…

Stop pulling, Chester. Wait! Bags? Check. Flashlight? Check. Dog? Hee hee I amuse myself.

Ooh, look at the stars! There’s Orion’s Belt. Is that the big dipper? No, can’t be certain. They seem to be fading. Must be a cloud. What do you see, Chester? Up there by Julius’ house? Is it a bunny? I don’t see anything, crazy dog.

Boy is it quiet this morning. I don’t see lights on in any of the houses. That’s weird, usually someone is up and about. Maybe everyone decided to sleep in on Halloween. I don’t get it, every house is pitch dark. What do you see now Chester? Quit pulling! Hey, I can’t hear the highway. As a matter of fact I don’t hear anything at all. The train usually comes by about now. Or at least the crickets or cicadas are chirping. Maybe it’s too early. Dead silence.

This is getting kind of creepy. It’s like I’m alone in the world. What would I do if something happened? What was that? I feel a chill. Sheesh, Martha, quit psyching yourself out. There is nothing here. It’s like every other walk every other day. Just keep walking.

I feel something. It’s colder than I thought it would be. It seems like it dropped 10 degrees in a few minutes. Brr. I hear something in the leaves behind us. Walk faster. Don’t turn around. No turn around and stand up real tall and straight. See what it is. No, walk faster. If there was something behind us, Chester would act different. Don’t look.

Something is definitely following us. Turn around you scaredy cat. You are supposed to be fearless. This is your neighborhood, get tough. Turn around NOW. Oh, it’s nothing. There’s nothing there. Hee hee you’re a mess Martha. Now go home, Chester wants his Kong. And you need coffee.

Wow, it’s dark. I can’t see a darn thing. Good thing I know the route. Oh shoot, Chester has to poop. Get the flashlight. No I want to go home. Just pick up as much as you can see and get out. Something moved past the window of that house. Is it on the outside or inside? Hurry up Chester. Keep going, you’re almost home.

Ok, something is following me. Walk faster, one two three four, count the steps. Oh my God, I saw a shadow. Breathe, in, out, in out. Don’t run, if it’s an animal it’ll chase you. Did someone clear their throat? Something is behind me. Doesn’t sound like an animal. Glance over your shoulder, see if it’s a coyote. Go on, DO IT. Better to know. OK, on the count of three, one, two, three, now LOOK!

What? Nothing there. I’m alone. What is that? Is it a reflection in Chester’s eyes, are the street lights on? No, must be my imagination, it’s still dark. You are a basket case, Martha, just Halloween getting to you. Come on Chester, hurry up. Whew there’s the house. Where are the high school kids at the bus stop? My spine is prickly.

Wait, something is wrong. What is it? I don’t know but it’s wrong, screaming wrong. The house is dark too. We will cut through the yard. Come on, Chester, why did you stop? What is wrong with you? Let’s go inside. No, wait, I left the lights on. No, no, no, what is that on the porch?

Help, turn around! Chester…Chester…run away. Go, run! Go! No, what are you doing? Don’t go that way, get out! What’s wrong with your eyes? What is that behind you? How many eyes are there…all I see is red eyes. I’m confused, are they all dogs? What is that sound? It’s a low growl. Chester, don’t go to the thing on the porch! Run! Did it just say good dog?

Whaaat…I’m surrounded. The growl is getting louder. Chester, come! I knew you would help me, come, hurry. What’s that? Are your lips moving? I can’t make a sound. My nose is growing. I’m shrinking. I’m screaming but I can’t. I hear barking.  Is that me? I’m covered in fur, I can’t stand up straight. Chester, help me!

Ohh…I can’t get up. Why can’t I speak?  What is that barking..is it me?Who are you? Lori? Oh am I glad to see you! I love your haircut. The bow is falling out though. What Chester? If you could speak why didn’t you before? What do you mean I didn’t give you enough treats? Where’s John? Oh, I see him, the Shepherd. I’d recognize that mustache anywhere. Listen, our pack leader on the porch is talking. He has such beautiful red eyes like us, and a long tail. What do you think he….OW! He poked me with that pitchfork. If I had that pitchfork I’d …

Happy Halloween!

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This and that and a doggie song…

My thoughts today are jumbled. None are worth a whole blog post, like a usual doggie song or my bucket list stories, so I decided to do a this and that entry. Let’s start with a short doggie song, shall we?

If you ever watched American Idol, you may remember a clearly older gentleman that got through to the judges. When he sang his “Pants on the Ground” song, everybody over a certain age (or level of class) stood up and cheered. I once worked with a teacher who was young, but would tell the boys, “No one wants to see your gotchees.” And we really didn’t. Anyway, Chester and I made up a song today…it’s only a couple verses but in all honesty, that’s about all there was to the original too. It’s called “Trash on the ground” (today is Friday you know…)

Trash on the ground, Trash on the ground, whatcha gonna do with your trash on the ground.
Trash on the ground, Trash on the ground, critters pickin through your trash on the ground,

Trash on the ground, Trash on the ground, wind must of blew your trash on the ground.
Trash on the ground, Trash on the ground, not lookin cool with your trash on the ground. The end. Sorry, I know you wanted more.

While I was driving to work I heard a bit of an interview with Ian Anderson, of Jetro Tull flute fame. He’s Scottish, and was describing a recording session. He was saying how another player was sick when he was supposed to record.  He said his bandmate “subjected himself to some dodgy curry.” I love this! I am going to make this my new catch phrase. I have to modify it a little but it will work. I will say “I subjected myself to a dodgy donut” or “I subjected myself to some dodgy Taco Bell.”  “I subjected myself to fried swiss cheese on a stick.” “I subjected myself to gas station sushi.” Yep, I’m ready!

I like to look on the bright side of things. Last weekend I had totally finished laundry, and even put it away. Then I found one dirty t-shirt of John’s. But if he goes missing, the police dogs will need something to smell. Otherwise they would just find my Tide.

Chester and I can tell it’s spring. Not by the temperature but by the noise in our neighborhood! The birds are insanely loud at 5:45am. With the windows open, I can hear the train whistle. The Painesville Speedway is roaring back. And, even in the house, I can hear our neighbor’s music. He plays a lot of Pink Floyd, which is OK, since I like Pink Floyd. But when he yells “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat”…well, there’s no going back. It’s spring! 😊

Finally, we had chicken-garlic pizza for dinner. Chester loves chicken-garlic pizza. Who knew? It does wonders for doggie breath I’m sure. Chester is one spoiled dog. Below is what I looked at while eating. Don’t yell at me, but yes, he got a piece…I KNOW….sheesh.